Newspapers / The Chatham Record (Pittsboro, … / Feb. 14, 1895, edition 1 / Page 1
Part of The Chatham Record (Pittsboro, N.C.) / About this page
This page has errors
The date, title, or page description is wrong
This page has harmful content
This page contains sensitive or offensive material
Chatham ttecorb. II. A-. LONDON, EDITOR AND PROPRIETOR. RATES OF ADVERTISING TERMS OF SUBSCRIPTION, One square, one insertion One square, two insertions -One square, one month 1.61 ' S.60 S1.50 PER YEAR Strictly In Advance. VOL. XVII. PITTSBORO', CHATHAM CO., N. C., FEBRUARY H, 1895. NO. 25. For larger advertisements liberal eon racts will be made. UuBP&lrd. Tho Klfl divine In not so fur as mnny sny Not woary Ipaguos away, away, Hut Ihliio and nilue. Tho gift euproino Is not so high us great ours toll ; Not whore tho angel martyrs dwoll But in our Ir mm. Tho gift most strong Is not of mountain rll or sna, Or twisted holt of victory, Hut in a Sony. Tho gift most sweet Is not hiyouil tho Alps, nr hid Kchlnd oM Khiifu's pyramid, Hut at tmr feet. Tim Kift most fair In imt wil I In ii-l ; if, dappled sky, Or freUi'il clou Ih Unit tlrowsti or lly, lint what wu arc. Tho gift nliovn All rih'k'iniiu of artful art Is not b'jvii I liu'. in tin) henrl Of lllltll lli love Ida May Davis. THE VALENTINE. 1)V MAHV I'. 1'ltKSTON. "No clients i.i.luy," thought Philip jchoru, its ho tiirno I from his office window ami wiiiit budi io his desk. A lino rain huh fulling outside, a .ain which wiih freezing us it full, liking tho pavement us Hinoutli as a iheet of ieo. Tho young lawyer knew flint few, save tlio.,o who went forth to cum daily bread, woiihl veiitnro out thin colli, dreary February morning; anil tho bread-winner of tho city liovor sought that iiirv, pleasant oflieo )f tho talental nn.l wealthy Puilij Acliorn. Ho was l'liniug idly l:iek in his chair, playing with u pen, which in yet was innocent of ink, and ilreuin iug of a pair of pray eyes laughing, sunny, tcinlur eyi h w hen tho door was pushed open, und n yiiiing man entered very uncerenionioiiHly. Philip looked nji with n slight smile ; evidently tho newcomer wan no stranger to him, nor unwelcome. "Good ! yon nro nil ulono and idlo, Boid tho visitor; "for just onco in my lifo, I am going to employ yon I" "Yes. To draw up your will, my door Guy?" "Not exactly; but will you com poso a verse or two very soutimotital for a Valentino? I want to hoiuI ono, but I couldn't mako a rhyino to save my life; you can, I know. Will you, Phil?" "I writo verses for a love-Hick Gwuin? My hoy, you must wonder I don't throw you out of yonder win dow! 1 am ii lawyer, not a Hcrililder of rhymes I" "Hut you pan scribble rhymed, mid I caii't. Won't you help inu? I've just set my heart on Hotiding lier Home thing she'd like, and 1 know you would help me; you will, old boy?" And Guy Aore, with his !oyinh face flushed u little, and his blue eyes glowing, drew a chair boHidu Unit of Lin friend mid sat down. Philip looked nt the impulsive face indulgently u iiioinent, then, with a low laugh, drew forward some Hlieets of paper, and 1 1 i j j I his pen in the ink. "Here goes," ho said, merrily. "Is it to boa declaration, my boy? or do you only wish to lot her know that you are hard hit, and leavo her iti a stato of blissful uncertainty us to whether or not she is to have tho pleas ure of rejecting you later? Her eyes tiro bluo, aro they not? That will fur nish ono rhyme, for of course I you will tell her that your love is 'lino' " "See here," until Guy, moodily, "1 nro hard hit, mid if you are going to chuff me " "Hut I'm not," "Then go nheiid ; writo jiiHtns you would from yourself if you had met Mabel Buowo mid fallen in love with her, and wanted to take advantage of Valentino's Day to tell her, there's a good fellow." "Mabel Snowo!" He paled a little us he repeated the name. Ah, those soft, gray eyes that had haunted him for weeks past tho fair girl-face that had Boomed to him so pure and sweet t "Yea. Isn't it a pretty name? Hut her eyes are gray ; not blue, and But you know about what I want to say." Yea, ho know. Without a word, but with a slight frown on hia white fore bead, tho young lawyer bent over his desk, and his pen went rapidly along the paper. As ho would write wero ho writing from himself, Guy had said. For a moment he forgot that it was not from himself the lines wor to go to Mabel 3uowe, as he wroto rapidly, impatiently- Then, lifting hia head, he suddenly rotooinbered, and with a laugh that was not exactly mirthful, he pushed (he sheets across to Guv, who took And read theui eagerly. 'Joko! you're a poet, Phill" cried Iho young man, impulsively. "That about wearing a rose in her bosom, and giving it to me as a token of her aiisweriug love, is capital. It might bo called an inspiration. She is to bo at Folger's bull tomorrow night. You go, don't you?" Philip nodded. "Hho will be there, too. I'll intro duce you. You aro a good fellow, Phil, mid no mishit ." And placing tho poetry in his breast-pocket, Guy left the office. Alone once more, and Philip begun a restless pacing luck ward mid for ward, backward and forward, which lusted for an hour; and when ho llung himself into his chair at last, mi l rested his brow on his hand, his line face was decidedly pallid, but his lips wero firmly set "I really care more than I knew," l". cnij, td'Mvly. "Then why not en- ,cr tho lists against Guy, and woo her, too? If hho cures for the boy, I am too nite. If her heart has not yet awii'.i iied, I may hnvo a chance. To morrow is tho fourteenth, mid tomor row night I will meet her. I will know the truth then." Philip Acliorn wus rarely mi early arrival at a ball, but ho was among the first to enter Mrs. Folger's ball-room on that night of St. Valentine. Yet early as ho wiih, Guy was earlier, and stond n.tar a window, looking very nearly sullen. As Philip saw his friend's face, a sudden hope stole into his heart. Had alio failed to wear tho rose? No; for in another moment he saw her, crossing tho room on the arm of her brother; and in the bosom of her white dross nestled a row ns red as blood. Presently ho wns at her side, his grave eyes on her faco, his heart beat ing furiously, although outwardly he was very calm. "Have you kept a danco for me?" ho asked. And she blushed faintly ns Hho put h'T tablets iu his hind. "This is disongaged," ho said quietly. And in another moment it was marked his own. Both wero h'.rangely silent as they went gliding over tho floor. It was not until as ho led her to a scat that ho spoke. "Would it bj impertinent of ino to ask how many Valentines you re ceived today, Miss Snowe?'' "Only one," she replied, shyly; mid involuntarily her hand went to the rime she wore. "Ami whn I nk you for the ross, Oh, give It to mo, Iovh of nilno!" Ho had written the words to hor at Guy's request, it is true, but they had been his own cry to her for a return of tho love ho gave hor; and as he wroto them, ho had forgotten Guy us now ho forgot the boy again Sho was so fair, so sweet, so shy and tender, with the faint color iu her cheeks, and the long lashes drooping, and whiteness all about hor save for that one red flower. Ho forgot that it was for Guy Azoro he hud written those liaoi to her, and ho risked more than he realized in his next question : "Can you part with y'our rose? I want it very badly. Will you give it to mo?" She did not lift hor eyes. Suddenly ho remembered that the flower was not for him, and his face lost color. Had she not put it there, above tho beatings of her heart, for Guy Azure, the youth who was his friend? Why had he forgotten? But what was this? Surely tho small Augers wero fluttering among the luces I Tho fair, odorous pledge was loosened and held out to him. What lid it ineiin? A sudden, hot color went over his face ; his eyes grew glad and soft, as, gathering the blossom mid the hand that guvo it into a warm clasp, ho stood thero, in a sheltered corner of tho ballroom, with musio swelling about him, and his pulses keeping timo to the measure. 'You give the roso to mo to me?" ho said, in a low tone of rapture. And she gave a swift, upward glauco into his eyes, a glance ho could not mistake. 'I knew the Valentine was from you," she said, almost in a whisper. There was no name, but I knew it must bo you ; and so I woro tho rose." 'Ah!" he said, tho truth dawning on him at last And he pressed the roso to his lips, then tho small hand. 'Mr. Azore seemed to thiuk ho had a right to the flower," she wont on, ftly. "He coaxed me to give it to him, and seemed quite put out when I refused. He did not know that it wao a token." "Poor Guy I" thought Philip, try ing not to laugh. Hut ho wiih too happy, two blest in his new-found and unexpected bliss, not to honestly pity thu disappointed youth. "A token of tho love you give me?" ho asked, gently. "Truly such token is of more value to mo thau a crov.'.k would bo. I wroto the words you rend this morning without a hope iu my heart ; but now " He looked impatiently about him, at the ilguros of tho dancers. No, ho dared not kiss tho face so near his own not yet I "She shall never know the truth of it all," ho vowed, biter. And she never did. As for Guy, ho was young mid impressionable ; in u month he whs deeply iu love aguiu. Indians ns Hunters. "It is a remark often iiiudo by old tiuicrs who knew the western country when the red huiu was ns conimou there as tho tenderfoot is now," said u sportsman from the Rockies, "that f ndiaiiH never scare away game from a region iu which they hunt 1 tut, they Hiiy, wherever tho white man comes with his firciirms gnmo is bound to bo killed off or driven away. Tuesu say ings are trite, with tho qualifying statomont that by reasonable game laws gamo of all kiuds can be pre served mid oven when nearly extermi nated restored to almost its original plentifuliicHs in districts not too fully occupied by man mid his domestic creatures. "Note the Indian in hunting as he searches out and Htcals upon the deer or wild turkeys with his soft tread of moccasined fjet In the twang of his bow string and tho flight of his whistling arrow there is no explosive sound to alarm the creatures near tho ono that is struck. He, liko them selves, is in sympathetic accord with tho tints and tones of plain and mountain and forest, and while endeavoring to match their craft uguinst his they are satisfied with trying to avoid hiui without abandoning tho region where ho abides. "It is when whito hunters of tho sportsman variety invade its haunts, their presence heralded by tho tread of their booted feet, their clothes alien in appearance to tho wilds, and their pur pi iho aluiwn by the crack mid crash of llreuruH, that game begins to migrnto to other feeding grounds. Add to this the increasing and indis criminate slaughter for slaughter's s ike that ehuraeliirizes the white man's hunting and it is easy to see why the depopulation of tho forest mid plain, when unrestricted by law, is speedy and sure, liver siueo tho general adoption by Indians ol firearms for their hunting it has not been found that large game has diminished ma terially in regions in which the white man is an infrequent visitor, although Sir Samuel linker, tho explorer, us scrts of African game mid predatory creatures that 'animals can enduro Imps, pitfalls, (ire, mid every savage method of hunting; but firearms will speedily clear them out from exten sive districts.' " -t'hiciigo Tribune. l'oaiiul U.I. Tho utilization of peanut oil in tho manufacture of soup constitutes an important industry iu Marseilles.souio ingenuously operating imirhino being used for tho purpose. After being cleaned and shelled the nuts are mailt) to fall into a triturating machine, con sisting of a pair of cast-iron rollers, and after being coarsely ground tho meal (lasses to another machine to be ground liner, and thcuco into a long hexagonal case forming a sieve, through which tho tine meal passes, while tho course is sent buck to the rollers again. The meal is then pressed iu what are termed "scourtiiis, " made of horse hair, a pressure of 2, Hoi) pound to tho square inch being exerted mid left on it for an hour, which sulliccs to extract all that can be obtained iu tho first yield; thu meal now pusses from the scourtiiis, is ground a second time, heated to a temperature of about ono hundred and fifty-eight degrees Fah renheit, and another pressing effected. If oil of a very iiuo quality is re quired, the uuta aro crushed but once, the partially ground nuts yielding a smaller but finer product. Tho yiold varies according to tho quality of tho nuts. Mozambique nuts produco about fit) per out iu tho first pressing, tho value being from 70 to 1)2 francs per 100 kilos; tho second pressing yields about 12 per cent, the value of which is from 45 to 50 francs per 100 kilos. It is stated that the quantity of nuts imported at Marseilles for this purposo in 1803 wus nioro than 70,000,000 pounds. It is catiuiated that in London alone uesrly 1,000,000 pawn tickets aro is sued every week fur sums under tea shillings. CHILDREN'S COLl'MX. AT TIIK Tul'. Oh, tin) apple trees in tin1 oflmr 1 ! l.lloi w e I'hulihy faces I see Tli" russets an I pippins, sly peepim?, ll 'twui'll leaves il tw.Jikl". at nie! And mi the crisp lip'i".", ns I'm longing In vain for tl lipiiuties to ilrop, A lillthe, haunting sung seems to whisper, "I'lio bust fruit is found nl tin- top On, the Kiiiii led ninl muss ! houghs up '.vnni toss ilij; ! They pradlrt mo now' in their uruis, And outward I gaze on the ore'i.inl, The river, th uplands, and farms, Ho, naiii 'tar, far from I'lul lii iod, That blithe, hreezv sonj le 'er will stop: l'.inie, station, ure wii hut hv elitiihinir: "The ho-t fruit is found at the top!" - (itoniii; Com 1:11 iu P troit l'ree Pnv.s. HOW CHICKKTS HINII. Nobody would guess the cricket to be a flying insect ; and yet he has two pairs of tho most beautiful wingK folded u way beneath the brown scales, or wing cuscs, on ins back. These ho seldom uses; they lire given to h.'m us a lust resource, in case of famine at nny tinu! iu tho place wh'eli he inhab its, when ho wiuil I lly to some new abode. With skill and c ire these wings call be unfolded 1 mid tln tl a very Curious musical instrument will found on tho upper pair of wings.coii sisting of it couple of sui'ill liles and two flat, clear plates beside them. When a pricket wishes to "sing" he bends the front part of his body down ward a little, raises tho wings without unfolding them mid rubs the little iilcH quickly against each other. The sound which he makes in this way is greatly increased by tho tw j pi lies, which act liko the parchment of u drum, causing the sound to 1 mm l.uuler and to spread further. Animal Friends, SIIMTAHY SIIINA1.MNVI. During the autumn tho armies of Europe have been marching nml c mil tcrniarching, charging and retreating, all over tho respective countries that they have been organized to defend, experimenting with all sorts of new arms and engines, and applying new tests to tho old methods of warfare. Hut perhaps tho most interesting thing to tho casual observeri; at these great nutitmn niumnuvros was the number of contrivances used for keeping open communication between various regi ments, army corps and divisions. In one part of Fi'iincc this fall ma lm uvres consisted of an attack by an entire iiruiy corps upon a large fort ess. Tho defenders of th fort had estab lished tunny redoubt . an 1 outposts on hill-tops mi I in f ii'nih his :s i,ud in windmill.-. Ail the-e outposts were conni cled by telephone. The men of the signal corps strung tho wires several days before the attack was ex pected, m that when the enemy up peine I the lookouts were enabled to converse with their superiors inside the fortress just ns if they had been only a few yards iiwav. The country all about the foi t was mapped out and divided into squares that were cither iiumlieied or loitered and the soldiers knew exactly how (e aim the cannons and motars iu the fort hi i that the shells would drop in certain places. In actual warfare tin! pickets would telephone to the com manding oilier!' that a squadron of cavalry wus approaching behind n hill to the north, of that several regiments of infantry were hiding iu a bit of woods to the south. Then the big guns iu the fort could be trained on the woodsor on the depres.-ioii behind the hillock, mid shells could be dropped on tho enemy's advance guard even while Im was out of sight, and the in violin; force might thus bu prevented from necuring an advanta geous position from which to attack. Tlie telephone system used by the French soldiers on this occasion was a campaign outfit that could easily In trniisporti'd any distance. It was very simple, consisting merely of coils of copper wire, of pronged bamboo poles for supporls.andof iiiouth-pieccM mide ir-pieces to talk and hear through. A tolophouo line like this can bo rap idly set np.as a wagon can carry the bamboo poles along and a man with a coil of wire on his buck can lay the line ns fast ns his companions can stick the poles into the ground. Harper's Young People. A (ortii-Kiliiti Lemonade. It is said lemonade has lieeu diseov. ered by M. Girurd, Chief of the Paris municipal Laboratory, to bo a mill robe destroyer. The bacilli of cholera and typhoid fever cannot resist the acids, especially the powerful citric acid of the lemon. "One grain," declares M. Girard. "will destroy all tho microbes iu a quart of water. This germ-do-destroying lemonade can bo relied upon if it is tho red, sanguiuaiy fluid Homo people paint their interiors red with ou circus days. New Orleui Picayuue. - LIFE INAI)UGOUT. Subterranean Homes on tho Wind Swept Praires. How to Live Comforably Under the Ground. Koine time ago tho writer had the pleasure of spending a night in one of the most comfortable and substantial residences in Texas. The wind outside blew as it never blows any where ill the world save ou the plains of imrlhwest Texas during u norther, but tho house never once trembled. It was the kind of house that the wind cannot shake, ami tiiut not even an earthquake can topic over. Oue would think that so strong a house would bu well known Hid quite popular, but it is not treated nf in any books on architecture. It has an architectural design of its own which beiirs no resemblance to the U irinl hiitn, the Ionic, or the Doric. One peculiarity is that while in most structures you begin ul the bottom and build up In tin: top, iu this out) you begin building at the top ami go down . io file bottom. There is no technical name fur such houses, but iu Tcxiim they ure popularly known as "dug outs." Few people are aware of the fact that lljl) miles west of Henrietta, Texan, i considerable perceutigo of the peo plo live actually under the ground. Farmers, cowboys, ranchmen, mid va rious others are among the number, find they form by no means a poverty stricken nrriiy. Put your.-elf in similar circumstances and see what you would be most likely to do. You take up a claim of (!ld acres of Government hind, on which you pro use 'to make for some time to t'oinc. It is absolute ly necessary for you to have a hoilse, but you have no lumber except that of which your big wagon is composed. You are miles from a railroad and still many more miles from a sawmill. You may have .10,00i) iu gold in your pocket, but gold will not buy lumber where there is none to buy, and you cannot build a house out of gold itself. What shall you do? If you are a sen sible man, you simply dig you a house in tho ground, roof it over mid spend your nights unmolested by Cyclones in the spring or northern iu tho winter. Of course, yon expect some day soon to build you a house, of a different kind, but you gradually grow to like your new qiiartcrs.and imyoiiuro very busy any way, that "some day" does not c nin for a long time. Dugouts have been a great help to Texas. Many a herd has been kept Mid many a farm has been cultivated which never would have been till years Int'T had tho owner been obliged to wait till ho could build him a house of wood. Some are dug straight down into the ground, while others are ting iu the side of a hill. The one iu which the writer spent the night was of the former kind. It was fifteen by tweuty feet at the bottom and about seven feet deep. About three feet from the floor tho walls were abruptly widened out, thus giving a shelf in the solid earthen wall some three feet wide mid extending around tho whole of the room. ThiH was mi exceedingly con venient nrraiigciucnt, as it answered for chairs, dining table, miscellaneous shelving and beds, all in unc. The owner hud cut a tin place of proper sio in the solid dirt wall, and, by means of a post-hole auger, had bored a chimney down to it. One single joint of stove pipe projected from this chimney out into tho open air. The Hlrueturo of the roof was strong mid simple. One log had been lai I across the dugout iu tho direction of its greatest extent, mid tlid duty as a ridgeptde. Smaller ones were placed with one cud tin this mid the other on the ground, just us the rafters of a house arc arranged. Hay hud been thrown ou to)) of these, and above all a pile tif dirt hud been banked up. Thero was a stunting tloor iu tiiis like that of a cellar, mid leading up to it was a flight of steps. These were rather steep, but one was not afraid ol breaking tlow n with him. They were cut iu solid dirt. Filler ordinary cir cumstances one might have objected to the room on the score of its having nothing resembling a window, but, with the temperature outside as it was, this was mi advantage rather than oth erwise. A bright, roaring tire burned ju the hearth, and the whole scene suggested substantial and picturesque, luxury. The wind could bo beard howling .ind roaring outside, but aside from ibis there was nothing to indicate that the first norther of the season mid one of the fiercest known for years was raging. The host wus a weather-beaten old Texas ranchman. He leaned bnek oil his i lay divan and smoked and win tiered; "How iibout Iho horses?" "Oh, they'll pull through all right, ho said. "I picketed them on the south side of the windbreak, yc.i know, mid that'll help considerably." This windbreak consisted only of a bank of earth thrown up at a little dis tance from the dugout. It was a poor stable at best, but it amounted to something in ease of life und death with the animals sheltered by it. Now York Sun. Rats. Why does a cat fall on its feet? nsks a correspondent who sigin himself "t!ats." For the simple reason that it is im possible for it to fall in any other way. Any other animal will fall the same, provided tho height of the full is suf ficient for the body to assume its na tural position before striking, as the centre of gravity is toward tho feet; if, on tile contrary, it were toward the back, tho animal would walk with difiiciilty, mid it would require power ful muscular exertion lo prevent it from wobbling ns it walked. With man it ii the same, nud if his arms were tied down to his sides, and his body stiffened with a rod, nud ho w-ro thrown head-foremost from a great height he would be bound to laud on his feet. Sam Patch under stood this perfectly. The writer t--x him jump years ago. Tho moment ho cleared the chlV from which ho jumped, he clapped his hands to his thigliH, and still' 'lied his body, and shot through the air and struck the water Btruight us a die. The Inst time he jumped, it was said that ho hud been indulging somewhat too freely, and he jumped all abroad, waving his arms in tho air, mid the natural con sequence was that he went whirling through the air head over heels, and heels over head, and when ho struck the witter tho blow killed him. When one wishes to dive he puts his hands above his head, not to striko the bot tom, but to throw tho centre of grav ity into the upper pitrt of the body. New York Herald. Catarrh und Deafness. In this season of colds and coughs, attoution to nud protection of the throat should not bo forgotten. Hy protection is not mount bundling up tho thront with silk niulllers, but pro tection of the whole body, and if pos sible an exposure and hardening of tho neck to tho cold. This last is im portant not only on account of the throat itself, but because of so many cases of catarrh which affect the enl and cause deafness. Indeed, somo physicians say that the fact has been demonstrated beyond a question that iihido from rupture of tho ear-drum, there is scarcely a symptom of defec tive hearing which is not traceable to the condition of the nose nml throat. Also it bus been said that the use of Him lling salts is one of (ho most pro lific causes of dculiiehs, operating by weakening the olfactory ucrves, and through them the auditory system. All strong or pungent odors should bt avoided as far us pos-ible, especially those which act upon the secretory processes. Any sigi s of chronic colds, catarrhs or lasting sole throat should never be allowed to run on without treatment for fear of the complicating deafness. Popular Health Magazine. A hutch rail'. The fair they hold ou miirkia ' in a Dutch tow n is u thing to b Ii I I. The townsfolk turn out, especially tin children, and the country folk tun iu, nud there goes on such a prodi gioiis amount of frying, mid baking and boiling t lint you would iuiugiue I (iaragaiituiin army h id come to town The chief attractions of these limrke day fairs lire the puppet shows, tin iiu rry-go-roiinds nml the refreshment booth-'. A little town springs up ii the market place in the course of tw or three hours, a little town of com pact frame and canvas buildings whicl arc easily taken down again, packet up and transferred to thu next sc. in of action. You will find substantia looking restaurants, capable of seutini fifty people at once, put up in I twinkling and taken down in less time You will find a whole settlement o side-shows and tiny streets of smal pavilions, where all sorts of quoo catchpenny merchandise is vended, t the delight of the small children. Detroit Free Press. How it Looked. Cholly Chumpleigh Miss Coldea aw how do yon like my moustache' Miss ('oldeiil It looks as thougl you got it at u bargain counter. ('holly t'hitmpleigh (who has heel secretly touching it up with greast paint) Weally! I don't uiitlerstant you. MissGoldeal I mean it has tho ap pearand) of being marked down. Lif. A Tolentiue. Accept, dear wife, this little token, And, if between the Hues you seek, you'll find the love I've often spoken Tho lovo I'll always love to speak. Our little ones are making merry With unco ditties rhymed in Jost, But in these lines though awkward very, The genuine article's expressed ! You aro so fair and swput anil tender, W.-ur brown-eyed little sweetheart mino. And when a callow yoMth, and slender, 1 usked to he your Valentin. What though thoso years of ours ho flcotlng? Whut though thpoe years of ours be flown? I'll moek old Kronos with repeating 'I lovo my love, and her alone!" And when I fall before his reaping. Ami when my stuttering speoeh is dumb, Think not my lovo is dead or sleeping, But that it waits for you to colli'). Bo take, d'-ur love, this little token. And if there speaks iu any lino The 9"iitiment I'll fain have spoken, Buy, will you kiss your viihuitlne? Ell HA I'lELH. IIIMOKOIS. "Doctors' (!t)iiimons" Giaveynrds. Sen-sickness is a famous cure for pomposity. Some short men will not go into society unless they can go with a very full girl. Guns aro only human, itfter all. They will kick when flit! load becomes too heavy. "Whnt paper docs Grabber tnkc?" "Sometimes the janitor's and some times tho boarder's. .Mrs. Iligbee Most people mako tho best of everything. Mrs. Itobbins We h ivo a cook who doesn't. "Docs he knowatiythingabout art?" "Not a thing. Why, ho doesn't even know enough about it to lecture ou it." t-usey I bought these four-dollar trousers iu a fit of economy. Seward (surveying tho trousers) I don't see the lit. Magistrate You are accused of not supporting your wife. Prisoner Your Honor, you don't know how unsup purtablo sho is. Nothing disgusts a man bo at luck of punctuality us to arrive at a inceting plaee fifteen minutes late aud liud his friend not there yet. "Johnnie what mukes you tell your mother yon are sick? She'll mako you tako medicine." "Certainly sho will, but then sho'll pay mo for takiu it." New Hoarder The sun never enters this room. Landlady That will mako it a dollar inoiv ; you can sit by tho window without danger of getting fn.ckl ed. Hotel Guest Now, aro you suro that this bed is quite clean? Maid Yes, sir. The sheets were only washed this morning. Just feel 'cm ; they ain't dry yet I Tho girls who cannot siug or play Should not repine or siKh ; That is to say, provided th"y Are not indu I to try. First Man Fhnger throws his money about like a madman I really believe he's half cracked. Second Man Very probably. He's three parts broke, anyhow. Judge You are charged with as sault and battery. What have you to say? Prisoner Not a word, yeron ner. It was savin' too much got mo into this scrape. She I think the spring tho best time of th yt ar. I hive it. He, (scli-made man) Well give mo tho end of the year. I think the automotio tints are so line. "How to liaise a Hoy" is the leading article in a magazine for family read ing. The best way we know of is to show the b,.y a telegraph pole that overlooks a circus. Fust Tr.imp Arc you in favor of the in mi i tax? Second Tramp You bet I am. 1 g" further1!! that I'm iu favor of givin1 every man an income to be taxed. She This is a dreadfully closo room. I shall sulVoc ilc, I urn sure. I feel my breath going now. He Don't worry, my dear. It had much better go than stop. Morrison (confirmed bachelor) Don't you sometimes wonder what babies cry about? Peter (raised six) Don't need to ; I know. Tho most of 'eni cry about all the time. 'How happy Nellie must be J she " "Happy, w hen her father really forced her to marry tho man on account of his wealth?" "I know ; but the other girls are dying of envy. What do you call huppiness, if that isn't" Tommy, did you find out anything about tfio origiu of the dollar mark?" Tommy I asked paw about it, and ho said the straight lines stood for tho pillars of society aud the crooked one for the way they got their money. There aro at present no fewer thau 10,000 camels ut work iu Australia.
The Chatham Record (Pittsboro, N.C.)
Standardized title groups preceding, succeeding, and alternate titles together.
Feb. 14, 1895, edition 1
1
Click "Submit" to request a review of this page. NCDHC staff will check .
0 / 75